More Than a Dog Walk

This is the way Lucy dressed herself to walk the dog the other night:

I have learned, as her parent, not to fight these moments. I could care less what the neighbors might think about her wearing a winter hat and gloves, with her purple socks pulled up under her apple dress, when it's 80 degrees out. Most likely, even if they don't know my daughter (but especially if they do), it will garner a chuckle and a smile. She is who she is, and she ain't hurtin' nobody...though I did draw the line at the snow boots, because I also know her well enough to know if her feet start to hurt, she will stop dead in her tracks and refuse to move.

The walk started out a little rough. It's not easy to hold the hand of a slow-moving preschooler, while also holding the leash of an anxious dog. We live in one of those annoying suburban neighborhoods with no sidewalks, so with two different walking speeds it takes a lot of maneuvering to keep them both in a safe area of the street. This is especially difficult when the girl wants to help walk the dog, who weighs almost twice what she does and could pull her down in two seconds flat at the sight of a squirrel. As I struggled, I thought back to that first summer after she was born, when it was so much easier to hang onto the dog's leash while also having two hands on the bar of the stroller, and take a much longer, faster walk. These days I'm lucky to make it around the block and maybe raise my body temp a few degrees. "I'm not really getting anything out of these walks," I thought.

A little over halfway, the dog tired a bit and we were on a quiet street, so I relinquished the leash. As I watched my little funny girl walking down the street with our pup, I was struck with how big she is getting, and how grown up she seems. And how that summer of 2009 sometimes seems like yesterday and these (almost) four years have gone by so, so fast. 

And I knew in that instant that I am certainly "getting something" out of these walks. 

4th of July

This Independence Day was a bit different than years past, in that we actually stayed home instead of traveling back to my hometown in Iowa. I hail from a small town, but it puts on quite a 4th of July celebration, and the holiday has always been a family affair. There's a parade, carnivals, events, games, and fireworks - you name it. It's been quite a few years since we have not traveled there for the 4th, but since it was in the middle of the week this year and Husband couldn't get any other days off, it just didn't seem to make sense to go for just a day.

I found myself really missing my family and the events on this day, and I really wanted to do something to celebrate the holiday with Lucy. What I really wanted to find was a good parade, and luckily, I was successful! I found one in the nearby suburb of Edina. We went a little early because I wasn't sure what to expect, but parking was a cinch. It was obvious that most of the attendees live in the surrounding neighborhoods, because there were already a lot of chairs and blankets set out and many people walking to the route. We couldn't find a spot right on the street, but found a patch of grass behind the sidewalk and most importantly in the shade, because it was a hot and humid day. Some people right on the street were kind enough to let Lucy and a couple of other kids sitting next to us go and sit on the curb so they could be front-row for the candy tossing.

Before the parade. I actually got her to wear a ponytail, and she kept it in the whole time!

It was a great parade with all of the standards - marching bands, political candidates, veterans, classic cars, cartoon characters, and much more. Lucy was enthralled with everything. I loved watching her watch the parade. Many times she was so busy studying what had just passed, that she didn't see what was coming up next! It was great to see her stand up with everybody when the flag bearers passed, and to clap along with everyone else for the veterans. I know she doesn't know quite what it all means yet, but but it means something to me that she start to learn about these things and feel part of what it means to be an American. I can't lie, I got a little choked up at times - part missing my family, part feeling patriotic, and part watching my daughter. It was a wonderful time.

By the time the parade was done around 11:15 or so, it was starting to get really hot. We got in the car and stopped at Bruegger's for lunch, which luckily happened to be open because the girl was getting a little cranky from hunger! When we got home she took a nice long nap, then we played in the pool in the yard for awhile and made supper. We weren't sure if we would make fireworks or not, since it had been such a long (and hot) day. At around 9PM Lucy was still awake, but laying on the couch. When I asked if she was tired, she said, "yes, lay with me." I laid down with her and within 5 minutes she was snoozing. So that answered the question on fireworks! I wasn't too sad since it was still 90 degrees at that time of night!

All in all a wonderful 4th, even if it wasn't our traditional course of events.

Heaven is For Real

I have to start this by first saying that Husband brought a book home for me this week, titled “Heaven is For Real.” It’s about a little boy who had a near-death experience and in the months following, provided very detailed accounts about heaven and specifics about relatives he saw there, that on earth he had never met. Husband read it in a day; I have not read it yet but it’s been on my mind given some of the conversations we’ve been having with Lucy lately. It was a book that my mother-in-law, Betty, read before she passed away last fall (a gift from her brother). It has been recommended to us by many people.

Fast-forward to this morning. We were all in our bedroom and out of the blue Lucy declared, “today is great-grandma’s birthday.” Husband looked at me, and I said, “it’s neither of my grandmas. Yours?” He thought about it for a minute and noted that he thought maybe one of his grandmas had a birthday in February.

We had not been talking about great-grandmas; we had not mentioned birthdays. We chuckled at how weird that would be if Lucy had it right.

You see where this is going?

It stayed on Husband’s mind, so he reached out to his sisters and a couple of uncles and cousins. He works at a law firm, so just to make sure, he had someone pull a few records. This is the email he sent:

“Good Morning,

I just sat down with our legal research person. They were able to pull up grandma’s death certificate, obituary and her birth certificate.

Grandma Mabel was born today February 3rd 1914..

Lucy was right this morning… it is great grandmas birthday today!!!”

When I read this, I was shocked. Looking at the words now, it still gives me chills. Husband called me, and I had tears in my eyes. Grandma Mabel, consequently, is Betty’s mother. Someone she was looking forward to seeing again in heaven.

How did Lucy know, when her own dad didn’t even know his grandma’s birthday? If you ask Lucy who told her, she gets a big smile on her face and says, "Grandma."

Heaven is for real, folks. There is an angel among us.

 I didn't meet Mabel until her 90th birthday in 2004,

but I've always heard about what fun she was!

Betty is in the striped sweater and Mabel in the middle.

Betty and Mabel, not sure what year this is.

Brandon and Mabel in 1997.

He always had a special relationship with his great-grandma.

  

At our wedding in June 2006.

She passed away that fall.

Gems of a Different Sort

I last wrote of some of my daughter's sassy "gems." Tonight she gave me another reason to pause at the wonder that is Lucy.

We were in the car, and Every Breath You Take came on the radio. I said, "Oh, Lucy - this is Mommy's favorite song."

She said "it's Jesus song?" referring to Away in the Manager (which remained in my CD changer long after the holiday in the form of John's Denver's Christmas album). "No, it's not Jesus song" I said, "that's not in here anymore."

Pause.

"Grandma's up with Jesus?" I turned down the radio. "Yes, honey. Grandma's with Jesus."

She continued, "she feels better now. She's not sick anymore."

"Yes, Grandma's not sick anymore."

"Mommy, Jesus loves me all the time."

Oh. My. Heart.

"Yes Lucy, Jesus loves you all the time."

This kid is so...I don't know. These are not things we have spoken of lately in particular, but just little things she remembers along the way. She will bring up Grandma at random times. She's had similar conversations with Husband, which as you can imagine, tugs at him pretty hard. These revelations often happen while one of us is driving with her in the car.

The meaning of the name Lucy is Light.

And boy, does she shine.

Love you, Lucy.

Summer, Summer, Summer...

"...turns me upside down..." (Magic, The Cars, 1984)

So here we are, past "mid" July, practically staring down the barrel of August…with the undeniable feeling that we are on the back slope of summer. I know this time of year I feel an urgency to cram all that I can into the remaining days and weeks.

As I was putting together this blog and lamenting the things we HAVEN'T done yet; I went through the photos and thought - hey, we've done plenty! And it occurred to me that the best summer moments are not always "planned," like these:

Finding a mud puddle, and getting washed with a garden hose.

Getting an unexpected shoulder ride.

Eating ice cream on the deck.

Feeding ducklings.

Bouncing and sliding!

Picking flowers at Grandma's house.

Once again, a valuable lesson comes through the eyes of a two-year-old.

Changing of Seasons

Labor Day came and went...we enjoyed a nice holiday weekend spent partly with my parents, who came up for a visit. They spent some time with my brother Josh and his family, and then Monday came back our way and we visited Minnehaha Falls. This is a favorite spot of ours because it's where Husband proposed. It's a beautiful little park, and the water was high, so the falls were in full force. As we enjoyed the park we commented on the cooler temperatures and how it felt that summer was making an exit and fall had started to sneak in.

As my parents left that Labor Day, my dad received a call that my grandpa was in the hospital. That call was the beginning of what was to be another change on life's grand scale. My Grandpa Leo moved on from this earth on Friday, September 10th. He passed quietly in the early morning; unassuming, quick...just the way he wanted to go, I suspect. He'd been having some troubles in recent months, but had been in relatively good health until entering the hospital that Labor Day.

It was very hard for me to believe at first, and I actually had a hard time getting in the car to make the drive to Iowa, because I knew when I got there it would be real. No more hugs, no more listening to he and my dad talk, no more mischievous grins...but the thing that kept getting to me was that nobody was coming back to live in that house. With his passing is the passing of a generation, the end of an era in this family's tree.

And yet with this sadness there is joy, because he is with my grandmother now, and he is in no more pain or discomfort. There is also a sense of comfort, because the generations march on, made obvious by all those who filled the church and called themselves children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren. I have written before about this big bustling family, and couldn't be prouder of all of them than I was as we bid Grandpa goodbye.

As the season changed, so has life...my heart still hurts but time marches on, and now we have another special angel to guide us.

4 Generations - Leo, Mike, Jason, Dylan

Me and Grandpa

Grandpa meets Lucy - July 4, 2009

For the Love of a Good Window Seat

I recently returned from a 2 ½ day work trip to Oakland, CA. The actual work aspect of the project was quite positive and productive, but other aspects of the trip were both mentally and physically exhausting. The travel out there was cumbersome (flight delays, near-missed connecting flights, motion sickness, lost luggage, 40-minute train ride, rain, etc.); the schedule was demanding (along with a 2-hour time difference); and it was my first time away from Lucy overnight.

Thankfully, my return flights (connecting through Denver) were much better. I was functioning on very little sleep, but I was actually pretty coherent for most of the flight and took advantage of my window seat. I love a good window seat; I always find it fascinating to piece together parcels of landscape from above, or even to just stare at the clouds. Occasionally I have been lucky enough to see something particularly special - once flying to North Carolina I watched a lightning storm parallel to my plane; flying to Montana one year on the 4th of July I watched multiple fireworks displays from above.

I did fall asleep once on my flight to Denver (it was at 6AM, after all), and as I awoke I peered out the window and was rewarded with a view of snow-capped mountain peaks poking through a blanket of clouds. I have seen mountain views from above before, but this was spectacular. The pale orange of early morning light illuminated the eastern faces and left the western faces dark, reinforcing the definition of the uppermost ridges. As the cloud cover diminished, the light spread and a complete snow-covered oasis of peaks and valleys was revealed. The landscape appeared untouched – just pure wilderness. It was simply breathtaking; a perfect example of the camaraderie between God and Mother Nature. I don’t know about you, but I think my version of heaven looks exactly like that beautiful view.

Of course my own little slice of heaven on earth is in the presence of my baby girl, who did just fine without me these past few days, but was also very excited to see me. I guess that’s just about perfect too.

Little Pink Stone

One of the benefits of my particularly vivid pregnancy dreams (besides the comic relief) is that I am often "visited" by people in my life, and even people close to me who have passed. For example, about a month ago I had a great dream about being on my grandparents' farm, and going to the grocery store with my Grandpa Lyle. He was right there, plain as day (another blog, another time, I promise). It just feels good when you wake up.

However, I have experienced that it's not just in my sleeping life that these kinds of things happen. I'd like to tell you about my little pink stone.

My grandma Rosemary left this earth in 2003, right before Christmas. The following holiday season when the family was all together, my grandpa brought out all of her jewelry and after gifting the more significant pieces to her sons and daughters, allowed her grandchildren to select a few trinkets to remember her by. I chose a couple of simple costume pieces, and then something else caught my eye. It was a little piece of rose quartz, about the size of a dime. I was cracked but worn smooth, and I imagined it got that way from being held in my grandmother's hand. I added it to my special pieces.

Days later we were still at my parent's house, and I had been carrying the stone in my pocket. Suddenly I reached for it and it wasn't there. I looked everywhere for it and couldn't find it anywhere. I thought it was lost, but the next day I walked in to the room I was sleeping in, and there it was in the middle of the floor. I had looked there...it's like it just reappeared out of nowhere.

We returned home and I tucked the stone away, and really haven't thought about it but occasionally, when I go into the little box of my grandmother's trinkets to retrieve something else. It had been quite awhile since I had opened that box.

This morning I was driving to an appointment and listening to a talk radio show, where they were discussing perhaps some more unconventional ways to achieve "energy on the go." There was a guest talking about the healing/therapeutic powers of different types of stones. As I listened, I thought of my little pink stone, and wondered if rose quartz had any type of beneficial properties. Not 30 seconds later, the woman mentioned rose quartz as being one of the most calming "touch stones," or stones that you carry with you and touch every once in awhile to reap the benefits of its properties. Rose quartz, she said, has vibrations of "unconditional love."

How fitting, considering the source.

I can't even tell you how much this little gift has come at just the right time...the stone is in my pocket today.

Author's note: I just read something else that says "Rose quartz has excellent protection energies during pregnancy and childbirth." :)

GoodSearch

I just ran across a search engine which allows you enter a charity, and for every time you search, about a penny is donated to that charity. Over time this can add up! Check it out at http://www.goodsearch.com/

If you don't have a particular charity you are interested in, consider supporting Homeward Bound Dog Rescue of Minnesota (Monticello, MN). This is the organization from which we adopted Buddy, and they are going through rough times right now, like so many charities. Because people can't take care of their pets anymore due to job loss or simply tighter financial conditions, their requests to take in dogs and cats has doubled to more than 100 requests per week. Animal shelters are also having difficulties and are asking Homeward Bound to take in pets so they can avoid massive kills. HB is in desperate need of financial and in-kind contributions of supplies, etc. Other shelters and rescue organizations are having trouble as well, so check out an organization in your area too!

Stress Management

Shortly after I wrote the last post, I checked my email and had received this forward from my Grandma Mardie. I posted it, as I think it's a good reminder for everyone!

A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?" Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter.It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. "

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can."

So, put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. Don't pick it up again until after you've rested awhile.

Appreciation

I had some nice quality time with "my boys" this weekend. Brandon was here after two weeks off, and it's safe to say, he was missed. We all had a few meals together, which doesn't always happen, and I always value that time. The in-laws came over lastnight for dinner, and it was really nice to see them. Right now I am sitting on the couch with Buddy curled up at my feet.

Life is good.

Highs and Lows

This weekend was a roller coaster of emotional highs and lows, and chock full of activity. Friday morning I traveled back to my hometown of Storm Lake, with Buddy in tow. This was his first long roadtrip, and I have to say he did very well! I was worried he would be whiney the whole time, but he seemed to find some comfortable spots and minded his own business. Upon arrival in SL I spent some time with my brother Justin, and then visited my old high school buddy Jason and his family. It was a lovely evening with a clear, bright sky, and I enjoyed sitting on their deck by the lake and catching up.

Saturday was a busy day as we prepared for the weekend's main event - the wedding of my cousin Doug to the beautiful Allison. It was a wonderful wedding, held at the same church in which our grandparents were married. Doug is the only remaining male in this White line, and I sure was thinking about my grandpa Lyle and how much he would have enjoyed being there. I'm positive he was watching over us all day long.

Sunday morning I left very early so I could make it back in time for another family event of a different sort. We celebrated the life Husband's cousin Jay, who died suddenly at the age of 39. With no prior medical issues, his death is still a bit of a mystery, but he died doing what he loved - fishing with his dad. We are sure Jay is catching the big ones in heaven. It certainly has made the rest of us think twice about how lucky we are to be here, and to hold close the ones we love.

So here I am, Sunday evening...exhausted. I'm all stuffed up from allergies and/or some kind of cold, and completely spent from a limited amount of sleep and the emotionality of the whole weekend. But through it all, I am reminded that this life, whatever it throws at me, is a good life. Though it seems unfair at times that people are taken from us too soon, life barrels forward and we must take time to remember the good times, and rejoice in the new memories and new beginnings. So I am content, and filled with love and gratitude for this life that has been given to me, and the people I share it with.

Peace.

Adventures of Youth

They finally made it! Two recent high school graduates of Chaska High School here in Minnesota just finished a canoe trip from Chaska all the way to Hudson Bay. 2200 miles in 49 days...yeah, do that math! They duplicated a trip taken in 1930 by Eric Sevareid and Walter Port, which was chronicled in the book Canoeing With the Cree (which I think I'm going to have to read).

It's great to read about kids (or anyone, for that matter) who are ambitious and adventurous enough to take the time to plan and execute a journey like this. Between the chilly temperatures, the dangerous rapids, potential encounters with polar bears, and an exploding can of bear spray, I'm sure this is a trip they will never forget. What an amazing story they have to tell!

Read more about them here, and visit their webpage here. Be inspired!