The Envelope

A few people have asked me if now, after Lucy's birth, we have finally opened that elusive "envelope."

You may remember that back at our 20-week ultrasound, when we could find out the sex of the baby, I had a moment of weakness and asked the tech to write down the sex of the baby and put it in a sealed envelope. By the time I was leaving the radiologist I was already over it and knew I didn't want to open it. Husband was a little harder to convince right away, but then it didn't really bother him either. The envelope was hidden away in a drawer for the duration of my pregnancy. Lots of people asked me about it and were first amazed that I had the information at my fingertips and didn't want to open it; and second amazed that I, as such a "planner," did not want to know the sex of the baby.

I am so glad that we decided to wait for the birth to find out if our baby was a boy or girl. I liked the guessing games people played - while dining at an Indian restaurant with friends I even had the owner feel my belly and swear it was a boy - and I enjoyed the anticipation of waiting for that moment when the baby came into the world to find out if we had a he or she. I always had a feeling it was a girl, for no particular reason other than a feeling...so I could never be sure.

When the baby was born, nobody said anything at first about the sex. I was so overwhelmed by the labor and delivery process finally being over, and this healthy, crying baby on my chest, that all I could do was cry and attempt to process that this little life came from me. Then it finally hit me and I said, "is it a boy or girl?!" The nurse held her up and said, "what do you think?" I could see, and my exclamation of "it's a girl!" dissolved into more tears.

So for those of you wondering, the ultrasound tech was right. But somehow I don't think opening an envelope at 20 weeks would have compared to that wonderful moment in the delivery room.