Remembering Betty

One year ago today we lost Husband’s mom. I remember receiving the call that Friday afternoon – I had just finished Lucy’s school conference and was walking across the parking lot to my car. I went to the house and grieved with the rest of the family, saying final goodbyes to her earthly body after her spirit had already left us. A few days later there was a beautiful service, and then we got back to the business of everyday life, trying to manage the gaping hole and knowing things would never quite be the same.

Although she is not physically here, Betty is with us all the time. All of us can tell the stories...

When we spread her ashes this past spring, there was a ladybug on her parents’ headstone at the cemetery. A real ladybug, not one of those Asian ladybeetles. I hadn’t seen one of those in years (and haven’t since). I pointed it out to Lucy, and she still remembers it. She’s been known to talk about it when we pass any cemetery.

Husband’s sister emailed about her time at the casino, when a woman sat down at her table to play. Her name was Betty. (Betty did love a casino!)

I even keep getting spam emails from her email account. (Is anyone else getting these?!)

And of course, there were many message through Lucy. We will never forget the date of great-grandma’s birthday!

But a few weeks ago, we got another emotional, heart-lifting sign. Our church had All-Saints Sunday, celebrating those who had passed in the past year. Betty’s funeral was held at our church, and she was included in the celebration. Husband’s dad came with us - it was just Dad, Husband, and me as Lucy spent the night at an auntie’s house. I chose an open pew near the middle, and Dad sat on the end.

The service was beautiful. At one point, the name of each person being honored was read, a bell was rung, and a candle placed along the center aisle was lit. The acolyte started in the back of the church and moved forward to light each candle. And wouldn’t you know, when Betty’s name was read, where was that acolyte?

He was lighting the candle right next to my father-in-law. Literally, it was hooked onto the pew immediately in front of him. He had only to look up and it was RIGHT.THERE.

It was just one of those choke-through-tears moments for all of us, but I also had to smile, because of course! Of course we would be sitting in the pew where that candle was lit. Because that was Betty.

And just this past Sunday in church, someone approached and handed me a couple of pictures. At Betty’s funeral, lily bulbs were given out. One of the ladies working at the funeral that day had taken some home, and they came up beautifully. She so graciously went out of her way to take photos and let us know that Betty was honored and remembered in just the way she would most love – through flowers.

As Lucy says, Grandma is in heaven, and “she’s an angel flying around God.” We’re so glad she takes time out of all that joyous flight to send us a message every now and then. Betty, you are missed.