Craziness Part I
Wow. These past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind.
After multiple deadlines, a 3 1/2 day conference, 4 evening public meetings that required travel, and over 100 hours of work in, I was so ready to kiss the past two weeks goodbye. Sandwich in there a baby shower at my house and hosting 5 friends overnight last weekend...when this Friday came I was exhausted. I was hoping to take the day off, but being out part of the week at a conference meant I was behind on a few things at work, even though I had gone in a couple of nights to keep up. I convinced myself I could leave at noon like I'm supposed to on Fridays, but ended up staying until 3:15 just to get the minimal things done. Which made me miss a vet appointment I had set up for Buddy at 3:45.
Which due to raging hormones and lack of sleep, made me cry for 10 minutes on the way home, muttering things about personal thresholds and lack of ability to manage my schedule. Home has been getting the short end of the stick lately, and I feel so guilty about it. Some days I wonder how I am going to manage all of this when the baby comes. I am also realizing that I am going to have to learn to let some of this stuff go. So what if the laundry doesn't get done that day? It will get done eventually. I can ask for help. Same goes for work. I need to stop feeling bad if I just need a break. I think some people feel that because I am taking three months off when the baby comes, that I'm getting some sort of vacation and I don't need any time off now. While it will definitely be nice and I'm looking forward to it, it's not like I won't have my hands full this summer. In these last weeks leading up to it, there is some time that I need to decompress and prepare both mentally and physically.
When I finally got home Friday, Brandon and Buddy were playing in the backyard. I joined them for awhile and I laughed, and I de-stressed, and I went inside with a smile on my face. This weekend has been good and there's still a whole, beautiful day ahead.
I have many things to catch you all up on...so this was Craziness Part 1. Craziness Part 2 will come soon and will be much more positive, I promise.
2 comments:
Oh you poor thing! You need to take it easy and be easy on yourself!! Easier said than done right?! I've been going through some of the same feelings. Putting too much pressure on myself and not being able to say no! It's a constant battle.
Oh my - yes time to slow down! You won't be able to do it all! But the once the baby is born you will be able to prioritize a bit more- and then there is that thing called "mommy's guilt". I have never had such guilt before that will make me say "NO" to many things. And when I get home to spend time with my boys it is always worth saying no. Hang in there.
Post a Comment